You’re in a grocery retailer. You’re staring blankly down the aisles, looking for the right snacks. You’re having a Treat Yo Self night time, and solely the best of merchandise will do when the munchies creep up.
Then it hits you—a breakfast pastry sounds good. Pop-Tarts and Toaster Strudel instantly spring to thoughts, however you’re unsure which one to go for. Which of those positive breakfast pastries rank supreme?
Well, I came upon. For you. And for science.
It’s necessary to notice right here that I’m a lifelong preacher of the Pop-Tart gospel. The Pop-Tart is an unimaginable marvel of human ingenuity.
Toaster Strudel, however, I had by no means truly had earlier than. But I’m a scientist and knowledgeable, so I went in with an open thoughts.
The solely means to do that proper was to create a points-based score system. Since I’m a Strudel virgin, I requested a real-life fanatic about which taste to get. She swore by the Strawberry, so I went with that. Most individuals can agree on Strawberry Pop-Tarts (although personally, I favor Brown Sugar Cinnamon), so I went with these as nicely. Then I ate them back-to-back, utilizing a really superior system you in all probability wouldn’t perceive — however I’ll attempt to dumb it down for you.
The Very Advanced System You Wouldn’t Understand
These are stoney baloney meals. A deal with for the lazy man. Anybody as dumb as me ought to be capable of make these comparatively straightforward; ain’t no one received time for a sophisticated, multi-step course of. How many steps are wanted past simply toasting them?
1 Point for an extended prep time, 2 Points for a fast prep time.
What does it have going for it?
1 Point for each professional.
What does it have going towards it?
1/2 level subtracted for each con.
On the basic 1-5 scale, how do they style? Keep in thoughts, this can be a scale for munchies. An ideal 5 doesn’t imply it’s nearly as good as a Michelin star restaurant. An ideal 5 simply means it’s nearly as good as it may be for a munchie.
1 – 5 Points, relying on the style.
Using this level system, what rating did it obtain?
Grab your goggles. Follow me into the lab. Let’s do that.
Strawberry Toaster Strudel
Prep Time: 5-10 minutes. You have to thaw the pastry, toast it, after which apply the icing.
- Stellar icing.
- The flaky crust makes you are feeling such as you’re consuming an actual pastry.
- Moist filling.
- You solely have to eat one to really feel glad.
- The flaky crust is messy because the dickens.
- You need to be Marie Curie to know the science required to toast it correctly.
- You can’t eat it untoasted.
- Your fingers are sticky afterward.
- The field doesn’t inform you that you have to thaw the pastry earlier than toasting.
Overall Rating: 6
At first look, it’s immediately clear that a Toaster Strudel is an effective deal smaller than a Pop-Tart. This soured me immediately. However, upon nearer inspection, I noticed that a Strudel is about twice as thick as a Pop-Tart, in order that evens issues out.
Waiting three to 5 minutes for a Toaster Strudel is way from acceptable. It’s additionally fairly troublesome to grasp the whole course of. My first try and toast one didn’t fairly work out, because it was nonetheless not scorching sufficient, and I needed to re-toast it. This resulted in a molten magma scorching crust, but an Arctic tundra chilly filling. This isn’t my toaster’s fault–every little thing else I toast comes out completely.
I consulted my Strudel-loving supply, who advised me that Toaster Strudels must be thawed a bit earlier than toasting. There are two issues with this: A) The field doesn’t inform you that, so if an insider tip is required to make the product practical, that may be a large problem and B) WHO HAS THE TIME? I don’t have the time. Do you will have the time? Of course not. We’re all so busy. We might make scrambled eggs within the time it takes to make a Toaster Strudel.
I made a decision, within the curiosity of equity, to attempt once more. I let this one thaw till it was room temperature. I popped it again within the toaster, and whereas it did work slightly higher, the top outcome nonetheless wasn’t unimaginable. It was once more scorching on the surface, and solely type of heat on the within. Toaster Strudel appears to current itself as having an ooey-gooey inside, however I’m afraid that’s merely not the case.
Strudels are, I’ll say, fairly tasty. The icing is top-notch. They’re mad flaky although, which is each a professional and a con. It helps the style expertise but in addition makes an enormous mess. You can also’t actually even maintain one with out getting icing throughout your fingers. Even in the event you apply the icing on the highest with out touching the edges, the warmth from the pastry melts the icing, inflicting it to drip down the edges. Eating a toaster strudel is to take a flakey, icing-filled bathe.
Prep Time: 1 minute. Toast that sucker, pull it out, and also you’re able to rock.
- Always scorching on the within, even after toasting for just one minute.
- The bizarre crunchy frosting is excellent.
- You can, should you should, eat them untoasted.
- A bent to go overboard with foolish flavors that no one needs.
- The frosting by no means absolutely covers your complete factor.
- You have to eat two to be glad.
Taste: four.5 (Brown Sugar Cinnamon would get an ideal 5 for me)
Overall Rating: eight
Pop-Tarts are available packs of two, which means that you ought to be consuming them in that amount. Healthwise this isn’t perfect, however you in all probability gained’t be glad after consuming only one. I’ll give the Toaster Strudel some credit score in that division.
It is undeniably simpler to make a Tart than it’s to make a Strudel (you’ll be able to even microwave them, if want be). After precisely one minute in my toaster, it was good: scorching on the surface, scorching on the within. If it takes just one minute to make a Pop-Tart completely, there’s completely no cause you need to be settling for a 5 minute thawing time, after which a 3 to 5 minute toasting time for a Toaster Strudel, particularly when it’s not a assure it can even be scorching right through.
The Strawberry tastes nice and it’s not even my favourite taste. I really like the best way the frosting cracks open whenever you take a chew. Admittedly, Pop-Tarts can go overboard with their insane flavors (S’Mores is rubbish), however we’re pitting one of the best flavors of every model towards one another right here, so the dangerous flavors shouldn’t think about. In different phrases, I’ll ignore the Boston Cream Pie Toaster Strudels in addition to these whackadoo Wild Thornberrys-looking Pop Tarts.
The actual problem right here is that these merchandise are stoney snacks. Even if Strudels tasted nearly as good – which they don’t–they merely require an excessive amount of effort. A Strudel lover may argue that you simply’re not meant to eat one late at night time whenever you’re excessive, however slightly you are supposed to take pleasure in it at your leisure from the consolation of your property within the morning. I’d argue that if that’s actually the case, you must simply make a traditional breakfast like a human being.
With a remaining rating of eight, Pop-Tarts defeat Toaster Strudels’ 6, and declare the title. Well finished, Pop Tarts. Y’all deserved it.
To the victor, the spoils.